Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Turning the Tables on the Power of Sex...or NO sex...Women have THE ULTIMATE POWER!!!!

I had a memorable conversation the other day with a friend who has recently become a stay at home father, we will call him
Despondent Dad. This conversation made re-think an age old
problem for men, The Sexual POWER of Women.

No matter how much we try and blur the

lines between men and women and the roles at home or work, there will always be one line that
can never be touched.


You canʼt see this line from space, like The Great wall of China,

but if you ask any man, itʼs far larger, stronger and often impenetrable. No matter what
roles we play at home, work or in life, as women we still hold all THE ULTIMATE POWER in the bedroom.

So it made me flip the tables and see the situation from a different point of view.


I have 4 children, 2 under the age of 2 and I work from home. By the end of an

average day I am worn out, a wee bit crusty both in spirit and from being covered in
food, snot and general kid goo. I am sure I donʼt smell sexy and I certainly donʼt feel

sexy so naturally I am not into having SEX. Now since the POWER of having SEX
lies solely in my hands, itʼs MY choice on whether or not my hubby get's be blunt...still with me...

In this scenario, my husband is truly and utterly powerless, but very

Now for the table turning...

Despondent Dadʼs point of view.

I think this quote from him

sums it up quite well.

“I change shitty diapers, do dishes, clean the floors, take out

the trash, play with and keep the kids amused and learning, tend to the yard....and
countless other things. You would think I was asking for the world for a bloody Blow Job!!!” ...and then he went on to say... " And if I even mention the idea of taking "care of it" myself, she get's all snitty..I can't win...!"

Seriously, have you not thought or said the exact same thing only with.. “I canʼt believe
you still expect me to have sex with you”....replacing the whole wanting a blow job line...

Why after so many changes

in our culture and gender roles, do we as women still have THE ULTIMATE POWER???

It just goes to show that no matter how many little blue pills they (men) invent or
prescriptions you can take...There is nothing more powerful in the world of “Getting
Sexy” than a woman uttering these three little words... “Not tonight honey”...

Not Tonight Honey..martini

1 1/2 oz Vanilla Vodka or Vanilla Liqueur

1/2 tsp honey

1 oz lemon juice

Shake all ingredients with ice and serve in a manly martini glass....Have 2 or 3 of these and for heavens sake go have sex with your man!!! TWICE!!!


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Dear Mr. Thatcher...The Tale of a maxi pad user....

This is an actual letter from an Austin , TX woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and
secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'.. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong',

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.


Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX


August Newsletter- THE RECIPE EDITION...

Hope your all enjoying your summer...
Check out some great recipes in this months newsletter...
Don't forget to
send me your fave cocktails...



Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Bridezilla Bit Me!!!

I was recently asked to create a signature cocktail for a friends wedding. Now I always hesitate to do this as I am not one to mix business and friends...not the friends I actually wanna keep anyway.
So reluctantly agreed and not long into my new project my worst fears were realized.
My friend was an actual, bonafide, BRIDEZILLA...and to make matters worse her mother-in-law is one too. Shouldn't someone tell her it's not her wedding? I kept waiting for her head to spin around and see her run through the room screaming "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!"...
So now what? I am stuck? trapped? I need Bill Clinton to negotiate my release!
I am due to book a tasting appointment and I am avoiding it an ppointment with a crazy bride and her mother-in-law.
I know I can't hide forever, but damn it I'm gonna try!

Wedding Cake Cocktail!!

Shake all ingedients with ice and then throw the shaker at the mother-in-law and RUN FORSET RUN!!!!!!!!