Friday, May 28, 2010


I could not think of a better title for this post other than ...WTF!

I am the last person you would call a prude...

I like sex..a lot..with my husband...
I swear...a lot...try hard not too around children...
I smoked pot..and inhaled... I was in university...
I DRINK...and enjoy every last drop...but do so responsibly...never while shopping

I believe in gay marriage, a women's right to choose and tolerance.

I really try not to judge, but I do...And this time I am wearing my full on Judge Fucking Wudgy Robe...

I found this video on Twitter via @thebadmomsclub and only watched about 30 seconds before I threw up in my mouth and wanted to punch someone...LIKE THIER PARENTS AND ANY OTHER ADULT WITH A 5 MILE RADIUS!!!

Sorry..I hate having to resort to violence..but Mama is about to POP OFF ON SOMEONE!

When is it going to be enough? When will we have ruined the wonderment and innocents of children forever? When is TO YOUNG, really to fucking young? When will someone just say NO!!? NO MORE!

NO MORE skimpy outfits, NO MORE bumping and grinding, NO MORE padded training bras, NO MORE bedazzled VAGINA'S...

I tried to find the dance troops channel on You Tube because that is where the video originated and only found this message:

- This video has been removed due to terms of use violation.-

Looks like someone said NO!

And that's all I have to say about that!


Monday, May 10, 2010

Let it Ride....Mama needs a new pair of SHOES...

So in the last few months I have been able to travel to Las Vegas with my darling husband on business, in total I have

been there 3 times. Now Vegas is not one of my fav

orite places to visit, I find it l

oud, dirty and well...tacky as hell. But it is what it is and I believe everyone needs to see it at least once...

The important thing to figure out before you go is what Vegas do you want to see...Like Joan Rivers, Vegas has many different faces.

There is “Dirty Vegas”, the strippers, swing clu

bs, dial a girl and

bunny ranches. This is not my type of vegas, I like to keep all the debauchery in my life right in my own bedroom.

The “Shinny Disco Balls Vegas”, these are all the celeb rag mag hyped night clubs. Pure, Tao, LAX and Blush just to name a few. You may get lucky

and spot Paris Hilton pantie-less in a giant martini glass. But most likely you will wait far too long in line, pay far to much to get in and drink over priced, mediocre cocktails with all the other tourists waiting to see a pantie-less Paris...

Can’t forget “Queen of Las Vegas”, where you have more mo

ney than Oprah and can throw it around like confetti. Who wouldn’t love Vegas when you can shop at Burberry, Roberto Cavalli and Christian Dior.

The above are not my Vegas. My

Vegas is that of a mom of four who wants to spend some alone time with her fabulous husband, eat great food that I don’t have to cook, cut up or wipe off of other little people and drink deevalicious cocktails till my hearts content. This may be dull and boring to some, but to me it’s like being a

high roller. So here are my 5 favorite things to do when I am in Sin City...

1) Enjoy a walk down the strip with a Mojito from the Bacardi hut out in front of Caesars Palace. Be sure to ask them to make it with Effen Black Cherry Vodka, adds a fantastic twist to the cocktail. A note of caution, these are so good that you may be tempted to enjoy them in multiples. They go down very smooth but will sneak up on you quickly, if you wake up naked in a bus shelter, it’s not my fault.

2) Take in a Show...There are so many A-list fabulous entertainers in Vegas, Carrot Top not being one of them. Tip...If you buy the tickets on the day of the performance from the box office, you get fabulous seats at a great price as they are trying to sell them off.

3) Have dinner on the patio of Mon Ami Gabi at the Paris hotel. It is directly across from the Belagio fountains and one of the fewstrip patios in Vegas. The food is amazing, the ambiance to die for and the prices are very reasonable for the quality of the experience. Be sure to ask for a table on the railing, people watching on the strip is part of the fun.

4) Check out FREE local talent. In almost every hotel on the strip you will find an amazing
house act. From jazz bands, dueling pianos, motown gigs and top 20 jams. You can listen to almost any style of music and enjoy a night of free, high quality entertainment.

5) Enjoy t
he Freemont Street experience. In the original part of downtown Las Vegas, this colourful, light show is so worth the short cab ride. It is a fun night to walk around and people watch. For dinner while there I recommend Lillie’s Asian Cuisine in the Golden Nugget...3 words..FA-BU-LOUS...

Oh..and if you want a #6...then throw caution to the wind and

get a kick ass tattoo at the PussyKat Tattoo a guy named Dirk Vermon...

My Vegas Mojito...

1 tbsp fresh lime juice

2 tsp simple syrup

6-7 large mint leaves

1-1/2 oz. Black Cherry Vodka

Crushed ice

Soda water

Muddle vodka, simple syrup, lime juice and mint leaves, the longer you muddle the better the mint flavour. Shake with ice , sever in a tall over ice and top with Soda water...Cheers...


Thursday, May 6, 2010

The things I really want for Mother’s Day...but just can’t bring myself to ask for...

So if someone asked you what you really wanted for Mother’s Day, what would you say? Of course as mothers we would all say, “Oh nothing, just the love from my family

is enough”. Of course this is all true and the home made card, Quickie Mart flowers, burnt breakfast in bed and macaroni necklace are all a wonderful bonus. But if no one was listening and judging, what wold you really ask for?

First let’s take a look at the word want for a minute. I did some research trying to find out the exact medical terminology for the metamorphosis that takes place as soon as we become mothers. I know there are many, but this particular one is where the word “need” is totally erased from our vocabulary and replaced with “want”. Of course my search came up empty. How do we, perfectly intelligent, rational women, forgo our basic human needs and now see them as wants? Also, as we all know, referring to something as a “want” when your a mother carries along with it another dreaded four letter word...GUILT!!!

If you actually look these two words up in the dictionary you would be surprised how very similar their definitions really are...Go ahead, have a look, I’l wait....

So this Mother’s Day I wish to profess to my husband and four children how much I truly love and appreciate all of them. And thank you in advance for the clay paperweight, decoupage card and carnations...

But if no one was listening and judging, this is what I really want for Mother’s Day..

1) EAT...I want to eat a meal, that I so lovingly prepared for my family, once a week without having to feed someone else. Just one fork, one plate and one hot meal from start to finish.

2) night a week I would like to enjoy a full nights sleep. Trust me, this will be more of a gift to my family. Sleep = Happy...Happy mom, Happy wife, Happy life...

3) MY NAME...donʼt get me wrong, hearing the word mamma, mom or any version of this word is the sweetest sound on earth and I would trade everything I have to hear it for ever. But for one day a month I would like to hang out with people who call me Dee.

4) TIME...just a little bit of it alone, to do something silly. Like clean my purse that has now become another diaper bag.

5) I would like my 22 year old breasts back......Ok, so I canʼt have everything, but a girl can dream canʼt she???

Happy Motherʼs Day to all of you Goddesses. And always remember the best Motherʼs Day gift is the blessing of actually being a mother....and an evening with George Clooney a close second...



“Love your Mamma”..Martini...with a little slice of peace and quiet...

2 oz Watermelon Vodka

2 oz lemon juice 1/2 oz simple syrup (equal parts sugar/warm water) 3 slices cucumber

2 mint leaves

Shake vodka, juice, syrup and mint leaves with ice. Serve in a martini glass with ice. Garnish with cucumber floating on the top of cocktail. This cocktail is best made up ahead of time so mint and cucumber flavours can infuse infuse into the cocktail. So make up a pitcher the day before and invite the other Momʼs over to enjoy some if that TIME you asked for...