Wednesday, November 25, 2009

YOUR WORST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER!!! CONTEST!


So I was having a chat the other day with my far too pretty, far too skinny, far too perfect friend whom I love. The convo made it's way to Christmas talk...Bla bla bla, ho, ho, ho...but we then turned a very humorous corner into the WORST PRESENTS EVER...that we had received for Christmas...


I have to say my list was pretty short, I seem to make out alright from the Jolly old guy...But I did have one that I remember quite vividly...My EX...(father of my 2 darling older children)...gave me a lovely matching 3 piece set of Blue , Quilted, Winnie The Poo diaper bags one year...I know, I know...back of ladies...He's all mine...well WAS...Decided to donate him to charity much like the diaper bags...


Anyway....enough about that Hot Mess....Let's talk about me...and my FIRST GIVEAWAY EVER..ever...ever....(insert....fun echoing effect here...) And it's for TWITTER'ers....


I am giving away 3 Autographed copies of my book...and all you have to do to enter is leave a comment about your worst Christmas gift ever & Tweet this contest (not totally necessary...but would be lovely if you did...)...be sure to leave your Twitter handle so I can reach you for your info if you win!!!
I will pick my 3 faves and post them on my web site with a fabulous CRAPPY GIFT COCKTAIL...



This contest is open to residents of Canada & United States only.

Contes
t closes Wed Dec 2 2009 @ 11:59 pm
....although if you could get them in before that I would appreciate it...I have a hard time staying up past 9 O'clock...

GOOD LUCK

Cheers
Dee






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Friday, November 20, 2009

MEME!!!


I don't normally do these silly things...but I received this one from @amotherworld
I chat with her almost everyday and thought it would be easier just to answer this then avoid the awkward silence...lol...NO...she is nice and funny and this is so I don't have to buy her anything for Christmas...

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. Charles Manson groupie Linda Kasabian....ohhh goody...

2. Where was your first kiss? On the lips...at the shopping mall..total cheese

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property?
I broke a girls nose once, does that count?

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Opposite, same, some people just need a good smack! Besides, I do Taekwando, I get to hit people all the time.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Yes, I used to sing in a band...just for the groupies...lol

6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? That he always takes the last cup of coffee in the morning!!! and after that, the eyes..hmmm and ass...I am an ass (wo)man!

7. What really turns you off? Bad Manners!!...and anyone who spits in public...

8. What do you order at Starbucks?
Only go for the Java Chip Frappucino's....

9. What is your biggest mistake?
Good grief I make far too many to pick one...Making the same one twice would be the biggest!!

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? If you count hangovers...many times...that is self inflicted pain that seems like fun at the time...

11. Say something totally random about yourself. Sometimes I pee in the shower..can't help it, hot water, 4 kids...just happens...

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Heidi Klum, I get it all the time..a total curse.....HAHAHAHA....no

13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? Yes...and that's all I have to say about that....

14. Did you have braces? Yes, all through high school...with a Tony perm...lets just say I wasn't beating them off with a stick...

15. Are you comfortable with your height? LOVE IT...5' 9"....6' in some of my heels...

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? Got up to get "The Towel"...and it was warm...

17. When do you know its love?
When he sleeps in the wet spot...

18. Do you speak any other languages?
Je parle Francais...and can turn out a fairly decent pig latin...

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
Ummm..ya...it was like totally the thing to do...Oh my God...so awesome...Baywatch People...NOW...no...Leather Face is really not a good look for me.
20. What magazines do you read?
Vogue...love it...Elle, Harper's Bazaar, Cosmo, House & Home...People....guilty pleasure...

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Yes...but I prefer my Hybrid....besides, I am a control freak..I wanna drive!

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
I lost my Older Brother a few years back....and that's all I gotta say about that....

23. Do you watch MTV? NO..HGTV...that's still hip isn't it???

24. What’s something that really annoys you?
Once again...RUDENESS...there is just no need...
25. What’s something you really like? Going to bed with my husband...I know it's corny...but I really like him...

26. Do you like Michael Jackson? Yes...his music...

27. Can you dance? Oh ya...I can shake what my mama gave me and some of what I inherited from Aunt Melba...

28. What’s the latest you have ever stayed up? days at a time...years ago...

29. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
Yes...sliced my wrist open at work...not pretty...many doctors, stitches and fabulous drugs...

30. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? Depends on how much I like the person who filled it out...

31. Tag 5 people!
@PartyMummy
@hullabaloo519
@CandaceDx
@kellidaisy
@Clippopotamus

Now stop your time wastin and get back to work....

(FYI: In case you’ve never done a MEME, just remember to link the person that tagged you, answer the same questions, and then tag five people to do the same. Have fun!)

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Deck The Halls....Sarah's Back in D'a House





Deck The Halls...Sarah's Back in D'a House...


So the Holidays are on their way...Ho Ho Ho, Feliz Navidad and all that crap...Don't get me wrong, I love the holidays. I have 4 kids, I have no choice but to put on my Santa's Helper Happy Face...

But I have recently discovered I have something to truly get all Joyeux Noel about...SARAH'S BACK ON HGTV AND THE GIRL IS HAVING A PARTY!!!

No I don't work for HGTV and no I don't know Sarah Richardson, but she seems totally FANTASTIC...I know it's all for T.V. and she could be a total Cow...but in my world ( and through very reliable sources...) she is FAB...And if she knew me I know she would love me...and we would hang out and have cocktails, sleepovers and become
life long girlie friends...

I am not a wanna be designer ( or stalker...), just a simple gal who loves to watch Sarah, and Tommy of course, work their magic no matter what they do. Between work, the 4 kids, dog and...well all the other house crap, I don't get much time to sit and enjoy...But come Hell or High water...( only George Clooney himself at my door could keep me a
way...& would make him sit down and watch it with me...) I will have my, not as perky as it used to be, ass glued to my favorite chair on November 29th at 8pm tuned into HGTV...with a Deevalicious Cocktail in hand!!!

http://tinyurl.com/yjme24e


And for this Oh So Special occasion...I am pulling out the good stuff and making a signature Holiday Hot Totty...


" All I want for Christmas is an...invitation to Sarah's Fabulous Holiday Party"...Hot Totty...
with a dash of...I could als0 use a new pair of really cute black ankle booties....

1 ounce French Kiss Vanilla Liqueur
1 ounce Chambord Liqueur (Raspberry Liq...)
1 pkg Hot Chocolate
4 After Eights
Whipped Cream

- Slightly Melt 3 of the after eights, not too runny... use them to rim your mug, do this first so the chocolate has time to harden up. Make your hot chocolate and stir in your Vanilla Liq and Chambord. Top with whip cream and garnish with your 4th after eight...You can also crush chocolate mint cookies for the rim. Just dip the rim of your mug in milk and then into crushed cookies...Sit back and enjoy.

- If you don't have after eights you can always use peppermint hot chocolate and melted chocolate chips to rim your glass. If you are not partial to peppermint at all, just use regular hot chocolate and chocolate chips for the rim.

Lot's of Fun and Fabulous Holiday Cocktails on their way...Cheers










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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

We Three Tacky, Dingy, Out- Dated Kings of Orient Are











I love the holidays just as much as the next guy, maybe even a bit more. Yet this year I seem to be suffering from celebratory claustrophobia. I feel like I did not even get a day after Halloween was over to breath before I had Christmas crammed down my throat. As I sat with my coffee looking out the window at the crack of stupid on November 1st. I watched the man across the street remove the giant gaudy ghost from over his garage and replace with a giant wreath. “I sure hope he doesn’t fall and snap his neck” I says to myself.


Is this what the holidays have come down too? Simply replacing one shoddy decoration for another? As I was out and about minding my own business (a good 5 days before Halloween mind you) looking for just another little something for our Halloween party. I walked into the store only to be overrun by dancing Santa’s and Snowmen snack bowls. I was in a daze, I started to worry about how I was going to tell my children that they miss Halloween. I know the Christmas decor usually comes out early but in the back of the store and for sure not before the ghouls and goblins have had their day. Yet on a side note I picked up my last minute decor at a great deal...

So is it yet another “Sign of the Times” (I love quoting Prince songs...) that the retailers are more desperate than ever, to suck every single coffer they can get out of us. I am not going to debate whether or not the Holidays have become to commercial, it’s been done and we all know the answer to that. The holidays are what you make of them, all I ask is to try and make them a little less tacky...Fell free to deck the halls in August so long as it’s done with taste and FABULOUSNESS...So here are a few of my tips on how NOT to decorate for the Holiday Season...

1- Think about others when putting up your Christmas lights...this includes our Dear Mother Earth. As you sit in your house all cozy by the fire, you don’t want your neighbours or passers by to get retinal damage from your Griswold light display. Less is always more, leave some room on the power grid for the rest of us.

2- If your partial to giant inflatable lawn characters- send me an email and I will hook you up with a good therapist I know...

3- You should not take it upon yourself, to decorate yourself...Please for the love of all that is good and fashionable...Take out a holiday scented candle and BURN YOUR CHRISTMAS CARDIGAN...

4- Batteries and motion sensors have their place in flash lights and security systems, not in Christmas decorations. Keep your stock of batteries for the toys Christmas morning. Let’s try being able to walk through the house this year without a slew of dancing Santa’s and singing Snowmen popping off in our wake.

5- Picking a theme that has nothing to do with Christmas... Regardless of how much you love dolphins, how your existence is meaningless without football or as “righteous” as you think NAscar is, these are NOT holiday themes, no matter how much glitter you sprinkle on them...


DON’T Bedazzle My Martini....

1.5 ounces Vodka
1/2 ounce Amaretto
3 ounces Pear Juice
brown sugar
pinch of cinnamon
tiny pinch of ginger

Rim your martini glass with the brown sugar. Add all ingredients except for the brown sugar to your martini shaker with ice and shake well and vigorously... Great way to work out those Holiday Season frustrations.... Pour into your martini glass and garnish with an inflatable cinnamon stick or battery operated mint leaf...

Happy Holidays


Cheers

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