I'm NOT Fabulous...It's all a pack of lies...

So... I get a lot of emails and most of them are looking for drink and entertaining ideas, which is great, cus that's what I do...Lately I have been getting more personal emails, asking me questions about my lifestyle and "mom life" and "How do I do it"...These I don't respond to, not because I'm all private & personal, but because I have no clue what to say.

Until I recently got an email from a young mother of three, who wrote me to tell me how FABULOUS I was and how she ADMIRED how I did everything and she can only WISH to have it all together like me... So after my ego deflated, I felt compelled to write her back and tell her...that it's all a PACK OF LIES! I am NOT Fabulous...well o.k, I'm a little bit Fabulous...but that's only because I think all women are. Well not all, the crusty, obnoxious lady behind me this morning in the grocery store...less than Fabulous!...But I love women...(not in a Rosie O'Donnell kind of way) I just love and admire our gender! We are amazing...And in order to find out why I feel I am Fabulous...I think you need to know the truth...

So Laney, here is your reply...

My name is Dee and I am a woman, a women who was a single mother of 2 kids for many years, on her second marriage, who can't stand the size of her ass and can't figure out what she has more of, cellulite or grey hairs.

I'm a wife, a wife who is blessed to be madly in love with a fantastic man who is perfect, except when he is a GIANT JACKASS!

I am a mother, a mother who has 4 beautiful children whom I adore and are my true treasures, that I would gladly trade for a mickey of vodka and a bus ticket when they are driving me BARKING MAD!

I am a daughter , a daughter to lovely, caring parents who love to remind me they don't get to see their grand kids enough because I moved A WHOLE HOUR & 20 MINUTES AWAY! (mostly my mom, oh mothers guilty how you consume me)

I am a big sister, a sister to a great, charming and funny kids brother, who I forget to call on his birthday and haven't shared a beer with in a long time.

I am a little sister, a sister....(deep breath) ....to an incredible big brother who I have missed and mourned everyday for the passed 13 years and will for the rest of my life. I will always feel that wrapped up in my selfish state at the time, there was more I could of done to save you.

I am a friend, a friend so fortunate to know some of the best people on the planet. They love me and tolerate me... for me, even when I don't return their calls and forget about lunch dates.

"How do I do it?" you ask...the answer is simple...I DON'T do it...I don't feed my kids all organic, local, free range food. I DO, feed them, good healthy meals that are well balanced with KD, Zoodles and enough crackers and cheese to choke a horse. I DON'T have patients, I DO yell at my kids, get frustrated easily and sometimes ignore them for an extra 15 minutes when I here them talking after nap time. I DON'T bathe them everyday, I DO know how to give one hell of a good spit and polish with a handful of wet wipes. I DON'T get all prettied up before my husband walks through the door at night, I DO tell him everyday that I love him and thank hi, for coming into my life...ok, well almost every day. I DON'T "grow" my kids minds everyday, I DO use the T.V. like hush money to occupy them while I try and prepare an organic-less meal for them.

There is however 1 very important thing that I do "DO" that does make me feel a little bit FABULOUS...I celebrate my successes no matter how small...Everyday!

I know it sounds corny but it's what keeps me going...(that and a cocktail of course)...I don't worry about where I failed everyday, because there are far to many. I gloat, toot my horn and do a happy dance (in fabulous shoes) for all my passes.

Those are far more rare, but far more important...

Thank you for all your fabulous emails...

Cheers

Dee

I'm NOT Fabulous...It's all a pack of lies...